Recovered and Reclaimed

Last week I saw a clip of a documentary that featured pelicans from the Gulf of Mexico that were rescued from the BP oil spill. The clip I saw showed the releasing of the pelicans back into their natural habitat, after the area was deemed safe. When one particular pelican was released from its cage, it stood still in place for a good five minutes. Although it was back where it belonged, the pelican felt lost.

 I realized that I was like that pelican when I first left the shelter, and moved into the hotel where I stay now. I was back on my own and back into independent living, but I didn't know what to do intuitively anymore. That is, I knew what to do in order to live on my own mentally, but it honestly took me a good month or so to get used to living in a space alone. I had to get re-acquainted with preparing my own meals, washing dishes, having to schedule laundry around a work schedule, and having to catch the bus to buy groceries. Even now, when I hear certain noises, I have to remind myself that a security guard isn't going to put keys into my door and come into my room anytime they felt like it, invading my privacy.

I share this because I am in the midst of beginning another step of my personal recovery back "home". Through some very heartbreaking yet serendipitous circumstances, I find myself with a one-way plane ticket that is good for another eight months. That plane ticket is my literal ticket out of the city that I live in now, and it is my ticket to a brand new life. It will lead me to a life of my choice, and hopefully that life will include new friends, and new love. It will certainly lead me to a much needed change of scenery. And yet, although all of these aspects will be new to me, part of the completion of my homecoming is moving towards this new life that will reflect my deepest hopes and dreams.

My next series of blog posts will discuss how a formerly homeless single woman dares to muster the strength and the courage to move from surviving, to living and thriving. Thinking about life in general, I've come to realize that people (myself included) can become so stuck in the process of recovery that we forget that the end goal isn't simply being in recovery, but the end goal is to come to a place of being recovered and re-claimed. I'm still on my journey. I've been in this hotel for a year and some change. I wish I could have left sooner, but part of me understands that it took a year and some change to get to this place that I'm at now mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Now, I have to give myself permission stop dragging my feet in the past with all of its horrible memories and trauma, and run towards my future with arms wide open.

The documentary ended with the pelican eventually figuring out what to do. It decided to join the other pelicans that were released back into the marshes of the Gulf. The pelicans then reclaimed their innate lifestyles. They formed a pattern in the sky, and they flew off into the sunset. It all turned out well for them at the end of the day, even after all the trauma that they were exposed to from the oil spill. They lost their home for a time, but they were able to literally and figuratively reclaim their home. I'm hoping for the same outcome.

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.

Join us Oct 12th

From Isolation to Access: Communication that Expands Our Community’s Capacity to Care

“The isolation of poverty perpetuates it.” - Dr. Donna Beegle, Ed.D

An evening with award-winning anti-poverty scholar, teacher and organizer, Dr. Donna Beegle, Ed.D.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

5:30-7:30 pm    Presentation begins at 6pm.

RSVP appreciated - Email rsvp@cvm.org by October 7, 2011

Seattle Public Library (Downtown) - Suggested reading

Light refreshments provided.

On September 13, the US Census reported that poverty in the United States has risen to the highest levels since 1993. How can we respond? How can we adjust the way we think about and communicate with people in poverty to help – really help?

Join Community Voice Mail National and Dr. Donna Beegle to learn how we can translate effective communication with people in poverty into our helping organizations and systems to expand our community’s capacity to care.

Donna is the only member of her family who has not been incarcerated. After growing up in generational migrant labor poverty, leaving school for marriage at 15, having two children and continuing to cope with poverty, she found herself, at 25, with no husband, little education, and no job skills. What followed in 10 short years were: self-confidence, a G.E.D., an A.A. in Journalism, a B.A. (with honors) in Communications, a Master’s Degree in Communication with a minor in Gender Studies (with honors), and completion of a Doctorate Degree.

Since rising out of poverty, Donna Beegle has studied and worked with educators, social service professionals, faith and community-based organizations, and health professionals to help large helping systems truly help by shifting ways of thinking and communicating with people in poverty. In 2006, Donna founded Poverty Bridge, a nonprofit which strives to reduce the isolation of poverty by connecting people in poverty to people who are not. Her publications, “See Poverty, Be the Difference,” and "An Action Approach to Educating Students in Poverty", offer groundbreaking strategies for breaking poverty barriers.

This event is FREE and open to the public. Donations to Community Voice Mail National are gladly accepted. 

Property Value?

"One day, I was taking the bus home from the grocery store. At one particular bus stop, a middle aged homeless man got on the bus. I recognized him from another bus stop. He was one of the street people that you might have seen around, or that you might know of, that doesn't want to come inside. He doesn't want to live in a shelter, because on some level, he thinks that living out of his shopping cart on the streets works for him.

I studied him for a bit. He had always perplexed me, and that day was no different. For example, although he was a street person, he had a pot belly. Then again, he always made his hang out post in front of restaurants on the better part of town. But one of the most interesting things about him is that he always kept a decent haircut. His clothes were never super dirty either. And, he never smelled bad, at least from a distance. And these things confused me; obviously he cared enough about himself to groom himself a bit at local places that groom the street people. He cared about washing his clothes every now and then. Yet, he chose to hang out with his bags and other rags, living out of a shopping cart.

I saw that he made his new hang-out post in front of a small Thai restaurant. I wondered to myself if his hanging out there was bringing down the property value a bit. I wondered how his hanging out there was affecting business. Then, I thought to myself that it was good that some of the local businesses were offering this man respite, or a place to rest himself, and his shopping cart. No matter what the reasons were that he chooses to stay outside to live, he had value as well. At one point, he had his health, and a normal lifestyle. He might have lost his valuable things, but there was a part of him inwardly that he was still holding on to.

Seemingly, he might have had very little worth to others, and to some, he might have been bringing down the value of the businesses in the area. But on the other hand, he seemed to be making a statement that worth is what you determine it to be.

I don't know why he doesn't go inside. Maybe he doesn't think that navigating the system is an option, for all the problems he would go through at a shelter. There are others that might feel this way too. Community Voice Mail can help these people. They can assist with resources that can further add to one's worth."

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.

Caught in a Catch-22

“When I was in transition, and even now, I was caught in a Catch-22. I couldn't afford a cell phone without a good job. But, I couldn't get a job without a reliable phone number. If you've been in transition then you already know that sometimes getting your messages can be a challenge. I know for myself it was impossible to get my messages while I am was living in a shelter and there was no privacy.

When I finally received my Community Voice Mail number that all changed. So, here is a list of how my voicemail has helped me out:

Jobs: Not only did I get messages from potential employers, but I got voicemail broadcast messages from my community case manager, letting me know about job fairs in the area.

Personal Calls: Some of you may know how alone you can feel when you are in transition, or when you are struggling to get by. When I was feeling lonely or stressed out, it felt so good to check my messages, and to hear someone saying that they were thinking of me, or that they would like to meet up. I remember those calls, and calls telling me to hang in there. Those gave me hope when it seemed like the world was rooting against me.

Doctor's appointments: I felt good to have my own phone number to give to the doctor's office. This way, the doctor's receptionist could reach me directly, confidentially, and I didn't have to worry about them having to leave a message with the shelter receptionist.

Believe me, when I was lacking so much and had already lost so much, it felt good to have a piece of something to call my own, and to make me feel like a whole human being again. Although I am more stable now and working to climb up from being in transition I still use my Community Voice Mail number for all of these reasons as my permanent, reliable phone number. ”

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.

Fear and Loathing of all things good

Sometimes people can be so insecure, that they are paranoid. Sometimes people are so damaged by things such as abuse of all sorts, they are damaged spiritually. A person can become damaged by bad luck, uncertainty, poverty, etc. Then, they won't trust when something good comes their way. Or, people don't trust when someone good comes into their lives. Sometimes people get so hardened by life, that when the blessings come along, they either miss the blessings, or they flat out sabotage their blessings.

Maybe this has been you, or maybe this is you right now. You find that for whatever reasons, you just can't, or you just won't trust. If you are very honest with yourself, you'll find that you play a series of games with yourself, or with others, designed to expose whatever good thing that you have going on in your life as being unreal. But, have you ever had the sick feeling of finding out that you've ruined a good thing? Whether is was a good relationship, a good friendship, or even something like a great job interview, or a great resource, have you ignored it or sabotaged it, just because you didn't believe that it would lead to anything good? Do you feel that good things and great people are for other people, but not for you?

I have, and I suspect that we all have at one point in our lives. That might be part of being human, but what I want to challenge you guys with, is to learn to accept good things. Open up your heart and your mind to things, people, resources, and possibilities that could either work to your advantage, or that prove to be a real blessing in your lives. If you are in transition, then open up your mind to the possibility that you can have a better lifestyle, or at least that you deserve better.

If you have a home, but you are poor, then start thinking about ways to increase your station in life. It might seem like nobody wants to see you win and get ahead, and sadly, a lot of people won't. Life can be unfair in that way. But every now and then, we are sent people who do want to see us win; we are sent people who might be able to see us through, even if only for a little while on our journey in life.

My next post will further expand on this thought, because while some people become hopeful and move towards positive things, some people are stuck in negativity, and they'll never see the good things or people in their lives. Some people just don't get it, but maybe you can be a person who does get it.

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.

Just Ask

"The questions that we ask ourselves determines the quality of our lives" - unknown.

Hey, it's Terrah again. I just wanted to share a really cool quote that I came across that I learned during my personal inspiration time. You see, in order to survive the time that I was in transition, and in order to keep my head up as I survive to elevate myself above poverty, I have to use a lot of tools to keep my spirits up, and my mind focused. One of the things that I do, is find free resources that either teach me things, or that help me to learn about myself.

So, I came across this quote, and it made so much sense to me. When I lost my place and became homeless, believe me, I asked myself a lot of questions. I really had to ask myself along the way questions, such as how I wanted my life to look like when I regained my private life back. I had to ask myself if I was willing to fight for my life, instead of allowing life to knock me down. I had to ask myself if there was anything that I could have done differently, or that I could have done better, in retrospect.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that it was my fault (in my case) that I became homeless. In my case, circumstances of health issues and being laid off, was my downfall. However, I came to realize that I didn't care for myself or my health as well as I could have. I didn't use the best coping skills and therefore, I wasn't prepared for the worst. I was so angry about things, like past trauma, that I didn't focus on the present, or on the future. I didn't dream big to propel myself forward. It took for me to lose everything to start dreaming big, and to think about the future. Then again, it's easy to think about the future when you lose everything, and all you have to think about is the future.

While I was in transition dreaming about the future, I thought about taking care of myself. I needed a way for people to contact me for appointments. I thought about jobs. I needed a way for people to contact me about jobs, and about opportunities. Thank goodness that I had my Community Voice Mail to count on, so that I could make my future plans. For example, doctors were able to contact me about my health appointments. When I applied for jobs in the community, I had a contact number besides that one at the shelter. I didn't have to worry about missing my messages, because employers were able to reach my professional sounding voicemail (More on that later!) directly. And, in questioning myself about the future, I decided that I wanted to start a side business for myself. And I did!

While I was still in transition, I was able to turn a job inquiry into a self-employment opportunity. I questioned myself about my previous work experience, and about how I could sell those skills. I used to be a telemarketer, and I spent many years working in call centers. I also had some college credits, where I had picked up formal communication skills. I used these to make career opportunity recruitment calls to potential financial planners. So, while the job market was crappy, and when I couldn't get hired, I was still able to put some legal money in my pocket. The best part is that I had a phone number to put on my business cards, and on my resume. And, the legal money that I earned helped to propel me towards independent living!

So, as you can see, if I just sat back and accepted what life handed my way, I'd be in a bad place, and I'd probably still be in the shelter. But because I asked questions of myself, and of life, I was able to create more for myself. Heck, even this blog post that I share with you guys now, is the result of asking if I could share my stories with you! The lesson is that if you want things to get better for yourself, don't wait for the opportunities to come to you; just ask! Use the resources that you have, and you never know how they can help propel you to your future.

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.

The Road To The Beginning

I looked around the apartment to make sure that I got all of the last belongings out. I needed to make sure that everything was cleared out, because once I turned in the keys, that was it. There would be no turning back. There would be no way to retrieve any of my stuff. I had a heck of a journey on the bus to get back to the Salvation Army downtown. I had already been there a day or two, and the last thing that I was looking forward to, was walking down the block to get to my bunk bed. I didn't want to go back to the cramped feeling of laying on top of all of the other women, and their kids. I especially didn't want to get back to that filthy bathroom. I wanted to feel and smell a clean environment one more time. I laid down on my clean carpet in the apartment.

All of a sudden, the weight of my situation hit me like a ton of bricks. The sound of my crying came up from the pit of my stomach. I let out a huge wail, and the tears burst forth from a crack in my spiritual dam. I lay on my stomach, wailing, flailing, and beating the floor. Why was this happening to me? And, how in the world could I possibly manage what I knew I had no choice but to live through? After about 20 minutes, I picked myself up, and then I locked the front door. I walked across the street to the manager's office. I took my house keys off of my keyring, and turned them into the night drop box. For the first time that I could remember, I had no house keys on my keyring. It was finished. I was officially homeless. - November 2008

This is a recollection of the beginning of my 18 month journey in which I was displaced on a hard-core level. I had always had people to let me stay with them, and to otherwise help me out. But this time, I was on my own. You know, it's amazing the things that you take for granted as being part of your everyday life, until you lose them. Your house keys really become precious metal. You realize that you don't have a phone number to call your own. You find yourself in a Catch-22 situation: You have no way to be reached to obtain services to better yourself, and you can't better yourself without a method of contact. But more than this, you have no idea what it feels like to not even have the dignity of having something so basic as a phone number, but you do know the shame of feeling utterly helpless. This is why it was so meaningful to me to obtain a phone number from a local charitable organization that worked with Community Voice Mail. I first received my Community Voice Mail number two years ago. I still have it, and it has been the one constant in my journey back to independent living.

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that my Community Voice Mail phone number has helped me, and I will be sharing tips on how it could help you as well. It might seem like a small thing, but having a phone number gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in your life recovery. I hope you continue to read my post, and I wish you well in your journey. These lilies represent the fact that within the seeds of one form of life, rises the beauty of a new form of life.