Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I will have a home

Imagine knowing that one of the worst periods of your life would officially end in less than 48 hours? Could you imagine the wave of emotions that would flood over you? That's where I currently find myself. You see, after three and a half years of being homeless and in transition, I will be moving into my new apartment. I will officially leave the ranks of those in transition. I will have a home.

However, I will truly be starting over in every way. In addition to the normal things that people do when they move, I will have a lot of purchases to make, in order to have the very basics in my new home. I will purchase a little mat to sleep on to start out with. I will get things to cook with and I will set up my bathroom. I will have a lot of running around to do, and I will have a lot of contacts to make. I will also need to reach out to quite a few resources. Having said this, since real life isn't like the movies, I've been warned in advance that things won't be happily ever after, at least not at first.

I've been warned that I will experience my share of emotional issues. I was also warned that I might experience physical changes such as unusual sleep patterns, jitters, etc. or that I could experience emotional disturbances, such as panic attacks or depression. I was told that I should get in contact with my medical provider, in case I need to obtain sleeping aids, or if I start to experience any harmful inclinations.

This may seem unusual, but the fact is that in addition to obtaining a permanent home, I'll be putting an end to living in the “fight or flight” survival pattern that I've been in for years. Since I'll have the time and the safety to process what I've been through, it would be normal for emotional turmoil to surface.

I heard it was normal for many people in my position to feel like, “Now what?”  A person like me sits in their empty new apartment, very glad to be there, yet very apprehensive. You see, when you've lost everything, it takes time for you to believe that you're capable. It will take time and support to realize that I'm not going to lose everything again.

On top of the impending flood of emotions and doubts, a person like me has the enormous task of realizing that while I can recreate my life in any manner that I wish, I realize that I have A LOT of work to do! Life doesn't fall apart overnight, and the rebuilding process won't take place overnight either.

Getting through this will require the help of others. As such, those like me in these situations require communication resources. Since I'll be starting completely over, not only won't I have furniture, but I won't have a telephone, nor do I have the resources for a cellphone. Thankfully, I still have Community Voice Mail that has been with me for almost three years now. I've said in the past that Community Voice Mail has been the one constant thing that I've maintained in my transitional journey. That statement will prove to be even truer, as I use it as a source of contact until I get a telephone of my own. - Terrah

My name is Terrah, and I will be sharing with you ways that Community Voice Mail has helped me, it might seem like a small thing, but having communications gives hope, and that hope can be the seed for so much growth in life recovery. I hope you continue to read my posts, and I wish you well in your journey.